As another Christmas approaches, my plans to visit home are thwarted by financial constraints. Spiraling costs and foreign exchange limitations anchor me in Trinidad, a place I wish to escape during the festive season.

This marks yet another Christmas in the “still single” category. While I usually champion the idea of embracing the solo holiday vibe, there are moments when I find myself yearning for more. The prospect of days off and leisurely sleep-ins is enticing, but a part of me pines for those quintessential holiday moments depicted on TV or those I would be partaking in back home in Canada.

Unlike most singles in their 40s who find solace in family gatherings and the company of friends during the holidays, my circle is limited. Hence, it’s just me and Sage (my dog) again for the festive season.

Despite the solitude, there’s a small voice within me assuring that this won’t be a perpetual state. It urges me to make the most of the free time I currently have. However, at times, the absence of a project, business idea, or any ongoing venture feels like a form of torment.

Yet, deep down, I hold onto the belief that this solo Christmas is just a phase—one that will eventually give way to a more vibrant and connected holiday season.